we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize