He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
