I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
