I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
