He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
