And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
