i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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