Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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