Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize