I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
