normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
