it hurts more in the daytime
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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