We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
