Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
they're like a gay fantastic four
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
