We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
