I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize