i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
