can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.