Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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