I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
