I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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