He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
