i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
