I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
