fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
