You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
