I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
