when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this just has baby written all over it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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