Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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