Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
