The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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