how do flat chested girls get laid?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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