Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I need water and some morals
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
