so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
