every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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