she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
