and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
