You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize