I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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