see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
