He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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