it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
