Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
