theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
