your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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