why do cheetos always look like penises
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
