Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
