then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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