gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
