Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
