Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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