Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
