dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
