Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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