You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
