you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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