I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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