the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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