she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
