hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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