got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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