too bad you live with your parents still
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize